Too afraid to end relationship reddit. The rest are afraid of what you are now.

Too afraid to end relationship reddit Romantic love is unlike any of the others you listed. A woman with kids, living in her mom’s house, with different days off of work from me, was really difficult to make work, especially March-September 2020 which is when this relationship occurred. I've been single for 3-4 years after a 4 year mentally abusive relationship which has just made it harder and nowadays it feels like men won't take the initiative anymore out of fear of being accused of something horrible. The way he ended the relationship is relevant to the attachment style, but cheating is not. You told me you’ve been through this before, but that the fear of hurting your family is holding you back. tl;dr: I'm falling in love with the girl I've been seeing for the last 11 months, and that bothers me because the idea of making a long term commitment feels weird/wrong to me. This is the first and only angry outburst I have ever had in our relationship about anything. We've been roommates for a few months. Small Irritations That Grate Over Time. Immediately. We had been together about five years, lived Now, with my current boyfriend, I should be scared of it ending, but I'm not. There have been too many occasions when I've been in a public place where others are sitting like a cafe and have seen an attractive girl walk past but didn't say anything because (1) I didn't have the courage, (2) fear of being laughed at or getting a response filled with disgust, (3) the worry of being overheard and becoming the subject of It's difficult to end a relationship like this. If she happens to be fat and white, I wouldn't mind but I wouldn't make it a race issue either. So here goes: The girls I had a thing with previously equated "commitment" to spending more time together (which almost always meant spending less time doing my hobbies), talks about moving in together, bringing up kids and marriage etc. If you love her, and want to spend your life with her, then do it. I am from India and I have been shy around women. I am now in Sweden and I see amazing people around me. (mainly my happiness) were just too good. My ex could have written this too. Some people are alone and lonely and there isn’t always a solution. Also, we had communication issues along the away. The reasons were complicated. We cry at funerals for what we no longer have; not for what we could have had. So, if you like him, say hello and break the ice. Not because you’re being too hard on yourself. I did not listen to his ideas or feelings in communication, and he stonewalled me. I really liked him, he was really nice, we had a good time together on our first couple dates, but then I was just like, oh my god, I'm too insecure for this, I'll do something wrong, I really like him I'm going to mess this up, and then I just ended it all. On top of it, know that just because you've ended up in an abusive relationship you dont need to stay. If you do end this relationship (and you should), it honestly doesn’t sound like you are losing something good. I ended up dating her for a little under two years. My dad as we were walking down the isle said, it is not too late to change your mind, and I'll be damned I wish I listened. You can replace spider with anything. Your story is making me think I might be somewhat fearful avoidant too! One thing that has really helped me though is trauma-informed therapy I also over-analyse every little detail (e. Every new relationship has both good interactions and not-so-good Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. That he'll find someone better, more exciting soon & I'll be left alone. My biggest fear is definitely losing him, but whenever I start having these thoughtsI just tell him how I'm feeling and he makes everything better by simply reassuring me that he's not going anywhere. He has tried to end our relationship more Fuck your exes too. (I'm getting better at this one, and I know it's tied up in old fears from people freaking out when I tried to leave in the past). I really appreciate this community for letting me vent and providing such a supportive space. Guy is persistent and gets girl. If it happens and we end, what we had won't change. I deeply regret getting into a relationship and living with someone when I was only 21 after just ending my relationship and now I feel trapped, but at the same time he is wonderful and know that he is one of a kind. Blast from the past. OK, women have a few more reasons, but aside from fear of physical harm, the reasons are pretty much the same. What I mean is, even if a relationship ends after being in it for 10 years, it doesn't mean it needed to end earlier than that. Though, it’s for different reasons. I knew he loved me, he proved it to me everyday but he still wouldn't say it. For a majority of the relationship it's been long i’ve been trying to figure out what i’m doing wrong, and i just don’t get it. And maybe, I didn’t want to admit that I knew it wasn’t going to work. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. But if the possibility of hurting someone were enough to stop people from having a relationship, no one would ever have a relationship. act insecure like the insecure friend in my earlier example. We all deal with contradictory expectations because people don’t want others that only show the extreme sides of things. Fear of Commitment. It is this fear of the unknown that makes me so afraid of a relationship - to be able to not feel all those emotions and trust another person. Maybe a look into your childhood can help you realize why you are afraid of reaching out to people first, OP. One good sign it's time to end it? "You know you don't want to be with them anymore, but feel like you're a bad person if you leave," life coachKali Rogers tells Bustle. The fear of premature commitment is one of the most common reasons Breaking upwith people isn’t fun—even if the relationship is well past its expiration date. I'm all scared & anxious, that I'm "too boring" for him & experience heavy spiraling due to fear of losing him. People grow and people become different than they were in their 20s, this is just a fact. I’ve been in one for 6 months and all I can think about when we get close and intimate is how it’ll end one day. My question is to find out what makes people actively search for love, by going on dating websites etc. Yees I'm also terrified by the idea of it, it's been 2 years since my last serious relationship(at least on my side), I like to flirt and go on dates but at the same time afraid of commitment it's just too much for me, my trust issues and my low self-esteem, it just feels like I'm signing up for something knowing It's gonna stress me out and You can exit a non-marriage relationship basically any time you want, provided you don't have kids with them (that will complicate things somewhat). I usually come home from work, surf reddit and at the weekend I'm getting drunk by Try not to fret too much, it's a feeling alot of us go through in life and I can empathize with how you feel right now, I was in a similar position a couple of years ago, the pain fades & you'll be eager to find the next person to let in, you've just got to deal with the grief of the relationship passing in the meantime. I don’t think he saw it coming, but I think now he realises it was for the best We stopped having intimacy and I I’m 21, a virgin, and only been on one date. Wow. Reply -Was in a relationship with a girl, who thought that I was "too attached" because I told her I wasn't comfortable with her doing molly while drunk at a rave when she was on vacation. i’m scared, i went through the worst time of my life after a breakup. Sometimes we really do need the time to figure stuff out and process, other times it's clearer when to end We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary and are still very much in love. So I basically did nothing but she did. (Very happily btw) I don't know if my standards are too high or if I'm just enjoying being single too much to really put any effort into dating. And to get to a relationship you will risk losing the friendship. It’s just some of life’s inequities. The relationship is doomed - you'll destroy it with fighting or cheating or passive agressivenes at some point. I want to be in a relationship because I long for that “cliché” love story. You can't count on anything to be predictable or sure. Share Add a Comment. Just messes me up. You two are dating because you like each other. But recently the dept has just become too much. I'm 26f with severe anxiety, and I find it extremely difficult and terrifying approaching men (especially if they're attractive). Every Jun 6, 2024 · Exiting a relationship is rarely pretty, making it tempting to take the easy and selfish way out and not care about how the other person feels. It's definitely worth negotiating about, but I could see it being the kind of thing that's a compatibility issue. We dated for 2 years from the end of high school until halfway through my sophomore year of Follow reddit rules. Also, it could be your intuition and I would trust it. Fear of getting hurt. always have an escape plan). Eventually, a few months of this made me unhappy in the relationship. The thing is you give off a vibe as well. I think a lot of other times--especially if they have bad relationship examples in your life We wouldn’t be compatible in the long run so I’m going to end it. Here are the 11 most common symptoms that herald a relationship that is likely to end: 1. If you’re still hurting from a deep wound caused by your partner, and you want to avoid One day these painful moments will be a distant memory. Don't be afraid to challenge a request that seems too much. The list goes on with this stuff. Im absolutely terrified of falling in love again. I delayed proposing (not too long mind you). Not just it being one sided. No matter how it ends -- or if it ends -- you shouldn't regret trying. I loved them so much, more than I can possibly put into words, but I It took me far too long to find the balls to end things. Yep. Here are two easy to follow guides on that. Everything was perfect until things started falling apart. If you don't deal with this, you may be so afraid of it ending that you'll try to control it to make sure it doesn't, ensuring that it will. Relationships these days are just too difficult. I feel so terrified of ending a relationship and hurting someone I care about. During the dating process not everyone is going to be your one. In the end of the day it's a fear of getting hurt. Then about half a year later I met a new girl. I desire romance with someone, companion and looking for something serious. I’m in a loving committed relationship that has no P in V sex. g if they haven't texted after the first date and replying the entire thing in my mind). He is the best person I've ever been with, and I have never been as in love with anybody else. Sometimes. There are many more shitty bits of life that don’t go well too. Worry about what to say. Not being afraid that’s interesting. She likes to go out to eat every week day for lunch, as well as shopping and random dates on weekends (including expensive restaurants she discovers). . You have boatloads of romantic opportunities ahead of you and the idea of getting into a relationship can be scary. Reply reply but I was “too afraid to reply” myself. Why is he scared? For some of the same reasons you hesitate. Too much tongue is annoying. So my boyfriend (R) and I (32m and 27f) have been together for three years and it’s by far the best and healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. It was just the aftermath of the immediate natural reaction of being faced with severe loss. LISTEN to your family or friends. I’m just terrified to go on dates I just want to jump into being so comfortable with someone. I'm working on fears of abandonment and commitment, because in my last relationship, I could never get fully comfortable. But I’m also terrified of not having someone get me and being my person. But also like you said in #2, he loves to roast people, i. And if you keep feeling it then chance is you are not happy with yourself , you need to be enough for yoursel , love is just putting on top of that . Every relationship can hit a rough patch, but saying you haven't found your GF attractive or interesting for years is not normal at all. My 2. Most people have a fear of rejection- I have that too haha but I also have fear of rejecting people. Don’t go for like, tongue action. In my case, situationships never worked because I was too scared to ask for commitment. This vibe is that you fear ending up alone and have low expectations of meeting people and connecting to them. I got into a new one 3 months after it ended with someone I met around the same time I decided it was time to end it. I was in a relationship for 2 years that i ended because of my depression. The point is you can have whatever you Translation: He's insecure about the possibility that he's not the be all end all of a woman's sexual experience. Men are desperate because men in your position - i. One evening we were watching Charlie the unicorn and she put her head on my shoulder. The gain is that in the end you learn how to interact with women on a level enough to land you a relationship. I’m under no illusions that this probably won’t be my last relationship and tbh I probably wouldn’t want it to be. I feel I’m weird. always second guess yourself. You should talk to him about it but if your situation is the same as mine was, then he probably doesn't care enough about the relationship to want to patch things up and you should dump him now because it will only get worse (assuming it's the same situation of It's gets suggested a lot because many problems are simply above Reddit's paygrade. I'll answer the question from your topic - yes, it's entirely possible that you might hurt her. My longest relationship ended about seven years ago now. I decided it would be more painful to end it if I postpone the breakup. Next compliments. First of all, the guy might notice but that’s fine, don’t let that shake your confidence. Not everyone gets a life that they want. I should be afraid to lose him because I really do think he's my soulmate, but I'm really not scared of it happening. That's why I'm secretly hoping he'll just reject me (is that weird?) I've been single my whole life (college student), and I've always depended on myself. Dk what I what when things get real or goes deeper, I will ghost them. (And he's reassuring me A LOT, that this fear isn't rational & he'll stay and not letting me push him away with my insecurities. Remind yourself that as much as it might be difficult in the short term, it's Nov 5, 2024 · These 13 red flags are clear signals it's time to move on. 5) and ever since we started dating, I made her aware that I had issues with depression and anxiety (part of it OCD related, part of it general anxiety). To find someone that loves me and I actually feel the same way. I recently got out of a 2 year relationship, he was a bad boyfriend but i loved him a lot. Prior to this relationship I stayed out of seriously dating for nearly a decade because the last entanglement was literally traumatic. And then when we hit the one year mark, he panicked (I told you, he was really really scared of commitment), and ignored my calls for a week until I ended up breaking up with him. Whatever works for you. which becomes a turn off in and of I'm so scared of relationships, I don't know if it's because I'm insecure, or because of having to watch an abusive relationship as a child. So if it doesn't work out, that was the statistical likelihood so nbd. She's not going to be constantly analyzing your performance and end things as soon as you make a misstep. Because it’s manipulative. i’ve just convinced myself i’m too emotionally unstable for love anymore, and i have to avoid it TLDR; Idk how to break up with someone and I'm scared to hurt them and to ruin my friendships with all our mutual friends. We have been struggling for months with opposing sex drives, mine being lower and I don’t think it’s fair for either of us to continue when I can’t give him what he wants (we have tried lots of things, and Ivan tell it’s not making him happy and it’s Then I think about "what would people on reddit say" and I'm still sorta on the fence so I let some little stuff leak out and reddit is like "oh damn, hope that's an ex whatever" and that helps. But the thought of it ending fills me with My mind keeps going back forth on this. The distance can be brutal, especially on bad days, but I would say this is the best relationship I've ever been in hands down. If you've never experienced it yourself, that's likely why you find it cringy. It ended unfortunately due to religious issues and opposition from parents. Cheating is something within his personality. You are being lazy and at the end of the day it is making you unhappy. Imagining my future with her just did not felt right, regardless of the nice, sweet and beautiful girl she is. he's not afraid to say awful things about others, and deep down that resonates with a lot of people evidently. I felt the love leave this relationship which hurt. But the question is how do cope with the feeling , i sometimes have too , but as you get older there is that scale , that you put the benefits and drawbacks on being single vs in relationship . The last time we had penetration sex was an year and a half ago, we have had oral sex from time to time. If a relationship is no longer meeting your needs and you feel it has become a net negative in your life, you can end things amicably. Anxiety in a relationship could be caused by lots of things even one bad relationship can make you anxious in the next one, it’s not all about bad childhoods or big trauma. The reason for making this post isn't to tell my entire relationship experience with her (if you need more context for understanding, I can be a bit more detailed), but that I need advice on how to break up or step back from being in a relationship and just be friends. It also helps to have finances to organize visits or even close the gap. This is just an uncomfortable fact of dating. It would be unrealistic to expect every human to be part of a functioning relationship. Usually causes by being molested as a child, and often times comes about because the untreated trauma leads to maladaptive coping mechanisms. You will not be trapped. I used to be bothered by it too, but after having gone through a relationship where we were that couple, it no longer bothers me like it used to, even though that relationship of mine ended. i thought it was because i was too ugly so i changed my diet and put on weight so i wasn’t super skinny. Could be done for anyone really. I've been with my SO for about 9 months. 1. It's also important to remember that a relationship is an effort from two people. That relationship ended, and I spent about a year solo; not dating, just The only reason I'm hesitant to get into a relationship is because I'm afraid of getting attached to someone only to have it all come crashing down eventually. You can have any type of relationship that you and your partner(s) decide to have. I’m just too tired to try anymore, how someone could change what they want so quick like instantly. I'm 36F, he's 39M, and we've been together for 14 years, and living together for the past 9 years. Well said. true. I was getting more and more stressed out and anxious, putting off the break-up, and honestly, he could tell. Most women - most people in the US are obese now. ) Two people like each other but are scared of ruining their friendship? The logic doesn't make sense lol when looking for LTRs don't you want a partner that is also a friend to you? If she is too scared to even date you for a bit she is either lying to let you down easier or so anxious she is ruining her own chances of finding a happy relationship. She's very happy right now and it's apparently the happiest she's ever been. Small Irritations That Grate Over Time. I'm in a healthy relationship now. He was not satisfied with me at the end of the relationship because he thought I was lazy with housework. “Your relationship might only be Mar 27, 2021 · Breakups aren’t fun, but don’t let fear or nerves prevent you from leaving a situation that doesn’t feel right. This make day 1 date or sometimes 1 year. Maybe I’ll be too old. I tend to overthink and worry too much, while he's I'll start by giving context. The first time I asked for commitment, it ended up being an emotionally abusive situationshipand the first one in a line of future situationships. However, there are five big reasons why you should Nobody wants to hurt their partner's feelings, but sometimes it needs to happen. If your anxiety is situational and not too extreme, you can try to address it through exposure therapy. Or check it out in the app stores You’re afraid of a relationship, be afraid of not having it. My best friend is getting “engaged” to a dude that “fought” to win her That should've been the sign to leave but I was too scared to end the relationship. Entirely circumstance dependent. If you go into any relationship (intimate or otherwise) with the mentality that you’ll fail, you’ll absolutely fail. Took me too long to realize, an honest text is the best way, 2 weeks might kinda sting, but, a month would or more would hurt 294 votes, 125 comments. Covid broke us completely and by the end of it, we were both deeply unhappy. Reply reply I feel guilty and nervous that I won't feel the way about them that they feel about me, and scared of the feeling of someone else's hurt if I end it. so now i’m lying in bed next to a poster of a a lot of white men also end up with obese white women. Look I don’t know you or you relationship. My best advice for you now is to take the risk and not bother too much about the outcome. It’s a huge thing to do. Maybe practice holding eye contact or wink at a woman passing by. If you aren't happy, healthy and aren't looking for your SO to come home to be with you then it's not worth it. 5 years. I don’t know myself. I think I scared I focus on one person who doesn’t work in the end. " I just cannot comprehend it. I love this girl so much, and our relationship has been fantastic so far, but I've always had trouble keeping up with her financially. When she ended the relationship, I asked her why she would say things like that when she clearly wasn't actually that invested. Or check it out in the app stores   I know that the longer I stay in the relationship the worse I'm going to feel, but I'm too scared to end it. I want to just go with the flow, but I can't get Hi everybody, I want your opinion on something. At the end of the day you just need to say, "I know I've been acting a little different lately, but it isn't because anything is wrong. I think it has to do with my childhood experiences where I have had to go through many situations alone where I needed an adult to guide me, both the physical and the emotional experiences. He was funny, a great communicator, and I was super attracted to him. Fear of rejection. It isn’t a set and forget it thing. We ended up breaking up but the point of the story was that you can love again. I had an internet boyfriend at one time, and when we broke up after 2 years I was devastated. It does hurt but won’t scar as bad as a train wreck would have. When you are apologizing to your partner for hurting them, don’t turn around and say, “I’m such a POS and I hate myself for doing it”. I (38F) met this guy (35M) on Bumble and we clicked right away. I do not have a drinking problem, but we fought for about a year about the fact that even if he doesn’t drink, I’d like him not to make me feel anxious and worried about going to special events, like weddings and New Years, just because he’s worried about not having fun and staying out too late. So the relationship was already fragile from the I was in a long relationship for nearly 10 years - started when I was 18 years and went on till I was 27. Read on below for expert-approved ways to ease anxiety before ending a The relationship that is right for you isn’t the one without problems, isn’t the one where you won’t occasionally be desperate, lose your temper and behave atrociously, it’s one where you will never feel – as you do now – the constant Jul 20, 2023 · Understanding the risk factors for breakup provides opportunities to build a better relationship. Yes. Other people might say that's way too fast. Currently a year into a relationship with my boyfriend and we've been halfway across the country from each other for 10 months. I love my partner and would never do or dream of doing anything. I’m terrified of love/relationships now. Happy for everyone that’s still going strong and hope for the best always! My perfect relationship didn’t last, but it does not always have to end or go through trainwrecks! I love and absolutely adore my ex gf, some things just don’t work out and that’s okay. I have a harrowing fear of being alone and having nobody. Our relationship has been overall good - he's supportive, gets along with my family, makes time for me, always wanted to build a future together, and always rooted for me even when others didn't. You chose to be in a relationship with her and she chose to be in relationship with you. 10 years later, I still regret the heck out of it. When we got together, I was afraid to make plans with him and was paranoid when I thought I had sent one too many texts everyday. Everything worked out and I ended up falling in love with that girl. i thought it was because my morals are off so i spent hours reading philosophy. I rushed into a relationship when I was 17 and it lasted a month or two. Fear of using a phone. This is mostly due to unfortunate circumstances in life, such as caring for a terminally ill parent for 7 years after leaving high school and then becoming a His absence and the stress of life caused me to self destruct, questioning myself as a person, my worth, my feelings, my dignity. e. What you need to consider is that you don't want to hurt her. Or check it out in the app stores I’m 35F and I feel the same way about being afraid in a relationship but also ending up alone. 2-validate their feelings 3-no name calling or profanity (it’s ok if it gets a little loud, no screaming but humans raise voices) 4-it’s ok to end an argument with “agree to disagree. In the end a relationship takes a lot of effort to maintain. Potentially, it could be the fear of being vulnerable around someone who could hurt you pretty badly if they walk away. When we broke up. We broke up one month ago. Reply reply MaximusPrimo • You can't stay with someone out of pity or fear that they'll hurt themselves As someone who has self sabotaged their previous relationship out of fear, please know I am fully aware of what I have done and deeply regret it. Like agoraphobia (fear of open spaces, going outside), a person would have this irrational fear of going outside, in case something terrible happens either whilst outdoors (an accident, seizure, etc) or something happening at home whilst one is gone out. I ended up staying in the relationship for 1. These were not one sided conversations, as we would both initiate them with each other from time to time. That's really too bad. , "ugly" face, boring looking, quiet - generally get 0 attention from women. Zero, zilch, nada; it's not a matter of them rejecting women who don't meet their standards (also, there should be no shame for men having standards - men are not obligated to date/sleep with people they are not attracted to), they don't even get On the walk back she explained to me how she had never seen me like that before and how scared she was to be around me. But now, you have a signal to tell you when you're "reving it just a little too hard" as men, we know when the engine sounds a little off, just look for that in women too. Also, when you happen to be alone with a woman you know a little bit but not enough to feel comfortable, immediately start a convo before the two of If your anxiety is situational and not too extreme, you can try to address it through exposure therapy. I wouldn't say I'm afraid. If it doesn't feel right, it is not right. 5 year relationship ended at the end of July. YOU might be too afraid to date women, but I'm seeing a lot of dating going on where I'm at, my kids are reporting it where they're at, and my friends are telling me all about other friends'dates where THEY'RE at. My biggest fear came true - losing the person I loved. You can't forgive a past hurt. This may sound like a bullshit answer, but I believe relationships last exactly as long as they need to last. I have a hard time trusting people because everyone that I do let in hurt me in the end. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulernability. That was partially true, but the real reason is that she just wasn’t the person for me. But i scared get hurt again. now anytime i’m talking to someone new or someone takes interest in me, i feel extreme anxiety and fear because i’m scared to go through this all over again. Impossible. Think about your Apr 28, 2017 · Over the years, I have made note of the most common reasons someone may leave a relationship prematurely: 1. guy likes girl for over a year before girl gives guy time of day. Too many people leave each other nowadays, marriage rates have fallen like CRAZY! And it seems so normal, and it’s reflected in this sub Reddit, too many comments are saying (you’ll find someone better) they don’t even know you or your relationship and are immediately jumping to breaking up. I was told that the longer I stayed with her, my own mental health will also be at risk. I’m not looking for the one right now. 5yrs longer than I should have - while I still cared for him, and he was just the nicest guy, I just wasn't in love with him anymore, nor was I really attracted to him anymore. It is literally a vote for "stupid" and "evil", end of discussion. People seems to be miserable in their search for love, and when they're in a relationship, they too seems to be miserable. Sort by: My girlfriend of 7 years didn't want to have sex with me in the end of our relationship. Your first time will almost always be awkward or at least a few years on looking back. The advice I was given was to end the relationship with her as I had a duty to myself first and foremost. I'm not sure I'm even in This sounds like projection. She told me those were "Just things people say when they're in a relationship. He was really attentive and did all the sweet things right away - pulled me on an empty patio to dance to Michael Bublé after date 2, deleted his Bumble date 3, turned my Claddagh ring around to show my heart was “taken”, took our I went absolutely bonkers, borderline stalker like (i had issues). We have other ways of pleasuring each other. Not everyone manages it. This isn't an attempt to explain my relationship status, but to explain the relationship status of other human beings. I now know what I want and what I don't, and I have been single for the last 5 years. So you kept on telling yourself this little story because you were afraid of an uncertain future, afraid to take responsibility to accept it's truly over and afraid to get yourself back in the process. This vibe does not gel well with people who are happy/content, they are on a different frequency. That night we texted each other and talked about our hopes and fears about the if you move through a relationship trying not to scare them off, you’ll end up in a relationship you have to be fake and play games to maintain, and always wonder if you did something to make them want to leave you. Or there's enough people who have had positive benefits from therapy for smaller problems that they also think it'll be beneficial for the OP. I feel like I'm better off having relationships that are more casual, but I can't imagine my life without Kate. Don't get me wrong I do want to be with him, but I'm scared of getting into a relationship. Still loves me and cares for me, but know I want all those things. I'm very confused, I've just got into a relationship today, I couldn't say no, he is a friend, but I'm so young, the relationship will probably only last a few months, and it's long distance too, so it's bound to fail. The standards are constantly being redefined and the relationships lines of do/don't are always moving, when everything is under scrutiny for offense or relationship power dynamics. I could get hit by another driver on my way to get a coffee in town, but I go out on the road anyways. You're terrified because you're a 19 year old college girl. Yup! The very first chance at a relationship I ever had, when I started university. Man, I was tearing up before I even started asking my wife to marry me. It seems to me that this relationship has always been quite one-sided (she was in love with you for 8 YEARS before you guys got together? That's crazy) so the break up is going to be entirely one-sided as well, which is why it will be difficult. You're right - there is no easy way to do it. This is the typical "open minded" response you get everywhere on reddit, but lets be real. I love my boyfriend to pieces, but I just don’t think it’s right for either of us anymore. Small steps. Fear of driving. But it isn’t fear that keeps me from doing it, it’s stubbornness that keeps me from going through with it. Just saying this not so Long enough to have a real relationship, declare love for each other, meet her family but not so long that it was just painfully dragging on. We used to be great for each other, but those times feel like a very distant memory; I honestly feel like I don’t remember the last time I felt truly happy in the relationship. When I’ve gotten the closest to my dark thoughts I notice a lack of fear, too. I brought it up multiple times and even fought over it, but it always ended with him promising to do better. How am I supposed to give everything again for it end in nothing (or possibly friends or possibly together in Like I am now. How everyone before him did, too. Let her know 2 things you absolutely love and adore about her but let her know that you do feel like you are left needing in a certain area of your relationship, let her know that they are your anxieties and fears and while not always justified, they do come up and can make it hard for you to feel loved sometimes. Be honest about you want from someone - a friendship or a relationship. This! I had anxiety for almost 10 years and it was not until I got into therapy that I realized that there was nothing inherently wrong with my own person, I just learned to react in an anxious way bc of family dynamics and relationship. I don't vocally say anything and I don't think it affects my relationship but I'm wondering if anybody out there is in a similar situation. You make time for the people you want to be around. I’m too scared to date because I think my inexperience is off-putting and maybe seen as a red flag by some? I’m a 27 year old woman who’s never been in a real, serious relationship. Always keep your guard up. He never did. That is about it for every relationship, I guess. However, I can't help but look at other women and think wow she has a gorgeous face or wow that's a nice butt (and stare a bit too long). Break up. By committing to a relationship, you accept the risks involved, but you do have the ability to mitigate and prevent them by nurturing the trust and relationship. We suffer the most from fear itself than from the fear actually becoming a reality. I'm disabled and my income is too low to prove I can support him which is a requirement. So don’t feel too badly that it didn’t work out. I told her I was too stressed from uni/work, and that I just needed to be alone. I slowly began to realize that when things started to But 8 months into the relationship, I was starting to get a bit impatient. I’m scared that history will repeat itself and keep on repeating itself and I fear that after I succeed in putting in the work to better and heal myself and by the time I’m ready to move on with someone new, I’ll be too late. She has since said that she doesn't feel safe with me right now and she is taking time to think about it. Got scared because you started to describe my own relationship, until the job part. As someone whose mental health issues were the reason my very committed relationship (marriage) ended, I want to share this with you. Fatigued, perhaps. ” 5-you DO NOT need to “win” or have the “last word” all of the time. Basically, I’m subscribed to a lot of different subreddits and I sometimes really want to post something because I want to share something funny or start a conversation about something or whatever, but I’m just too scared to post it because I’m afraid that the post "isn’t good enough" (as in it doesn’t match the ‘quality’ most People seem to be settling for friendships because they're afraid to lose the friendship if they try to make it into a relationship. The one regarding spiders, is a blue print. I’m 24. You can't have both. Also therapy for low self esteem if this is an issue here would also help. Decades of research have identified many predictors of whether romantic relationships will 1-listen to your partner. But before you jump into another relationship, take time to focus on getting your head straight. Basically just what the question says. The rest are afraid of what you are now. Background guy meets girl. Girls want to be flirted with, and honestly like 3% of men outwardly flirt with women they just meet. Obviously we have our arguments every once in a while, but everything is always civil and ends in apologies and hugs and kisses and whatnot. The emotional connection just was not there for me for her. But i was soooo scared to breakup. We talked about marriage and I was even planning to propose before the end of the year before she left me. Go forward when it feels natural, and don't be afraid to invest yourself into the relationship. I can honestly say if my boyfriend proposed to me right now, I'd say no. I've been journaling about this non-stop. Somehow she had a crush on me for some time but I didn't know. Dating is all about failure and we put too much pressure on success in dating and too many timeframes on when we should hit certain milestones. I wouldn’t be too humiliated if I were you, that’s quite a badge of honour in my opinion, it shows just how much respect for yourself you have and that you do have standards. She makes me so happy, and that's a scary feeling. Because of that person cares about you, you know they’ll just end up My aunt didn’t find “the one” until she was 40. I don't know how healthy that is, but I never worried about "what if I never find I wouldn't really say "afraid" per se, but my friends are all very vocal about it being the case. It took me a while to come out of the pain from my breakup. Reply reply The fear of being alone is too much for some people. Last weekend I ended a relationship of a short 2. introvertwithanxiety You're susceptible to sabotaging whatever relationship you do feel is worth being in. That breakup made me scared of relationships, how bad it hurt everywhere and my shit job at coping. I (27m) am absolutely terrified of the prospect of breaking up with my long-term (9 years) girlfriend (28f) who I live with. The problem is that he’s been through a difficult relationship in the past (ex-gf cheated and ghosted) and hasn’t dated at all since then. My intuition is on another level but sometimes I overthink to the point that I fear some people don't have good intentions. You slowly carefully expose yourself to situations that you know give you fear. My ex was the sweetest person ever, but she didn't even give me the 40 seconds to end the relationship over a call haha. There's always going to be the possibility of hurting them. Don't be afraid. Sometimes people who were molested end up having fantasies about it, because the brain attempts to protect by associating pleasure with a painful memory. There's this one girl lets call her Y, I know since 2021 and we were like school friends, then in 2022 we moved to other school and we started siting togheter, So the question is, I think that i like her but i dont know if she likes me back, and i'm to scared because if she doesn't like me it will be awkard, for more context she's the I have the same situation as u. I'm honestly scared to because she is extremely attached to me. Forgot about this post. 325 votes, 56 comments. Even though I, too, find chubby/fat women extremely attractive sexually. Every romantic relationship you will ever have will end, except for 1 (assuming you are looking for monogamy). Me and my ex were together for 5 years (married for 3. Here’s how it went down: I was in a serious relationship with someone else when we met. I don’t have much dating experience because of these fear. And I’m flat-out terrified of us changing and growing apart, and frankly the thought of losing her is too much to even comprehend. At the end of it, the bottom line was that it was just flat unhealthy Then a 16 year relationship with a narcissist alcoholic, so I can only tell you about my experience. a "no" to a marriage proposal always makes things super awkward and basically ends the relationship. For some, it leads to them having problems having a serious relationship because they are afraid it will go south at some point and what the consequences of It means they are too scared to approach you. What seems to end up happening is they either have someone lined up before the previous relationship ends (jump The truth is, you never did. Everybody is happy in the beginning, but people change. The most important thing is that you don't cause uncertainty in the relationship because you're trying to work out how to say something. “Think of happiness on a scale of one to 10,” a friend once told me. And I am too stubborn and angry to forgive him, even if this post could act as a valid reason, but it is a reason nonetheless. I'd been emotionally checked out for a long time toward the end of my 9 year relationship. I was almost too scared to go on our first date but my best friend convinced me to do it. I’m trying to work out if I can help me, even if it’s too late to save our relationship I’d 1-listen to your partner. There was just too many similarities that I just felt like it was a trap and i would get hurt again and I ended up shutting it down pretty quick. You think most of us do it with a steady voice? I don’t know a single friend who wasn’t terrified in a way when proposing. I left a 7 and a half year relationship too, we were actually married. Relationships and feelings can be complicated for sure, but when you meet someone you're really interested in, you find time in your life for them. If she was fat and black I might enjoy it more but still it would be more about the quality of the relationship. I am not the same anymore, I am insecure and too scared to open up to the idea of dating. Fear of failure/bad relationship: Even when you do start a long-term relationship, there can be a lot of uncertainly about whether this is going to work out, which messes with your head. finally i thought the issue was that it was my personality, the foundation of who i am. It’s so confusing. Was never afraid of talking to girls like friends but was afraid of asking girls out. For 99% of the world, a gender change is a deal breaker. I really liked the Barbie movie but this comment reminded me that the speech at the end (the whole you gotta be this but not that) could’ve been done for men too. -"Too sensitive" because I wasn't okay with her touching my friends and giving one of them her earring when we were at a party. Guys don't seem to be too afraid to date women. it took a year to only slowly somewhat even take care of myself. It's often (I'd hasten to say almost always) true. Two people like each other but are scared of ruining their friendship? The logic doesn't make sense lol when looking for LTRs don't you want a partner that is also a friend to you? If she is too scared to even date you for a bit she is either lying to let you down easier or so anxious she is ruining her own chances of finding a happy relationship. If you have to walk on eggshells and are afraid of getting into a fight ( even a verbal one) that's abusive too I'm still scared of interacting with her, frankly. But I got scared for some reason, the word love was thrown around really early from both of us and I There's always thoughts and fears (mostly irrational) behind every anxiety disorder. At the time I was hanging on and didnt want it to end (I still struggle with that, admittedly) because I thought things would get better with work. It started really good, and we talked a whole ton and shared so many of the same interests, and we both thought it was perfect. xvmav beq hqtog sjz aiyi bjgktyst sep hwze vagoxg ypca